


Spike's Winter Wonderland

by Highlander_II



Series: Spike's Christmas Carols [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Christmas Carols, Crack Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-12
Updated: 2003-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-27 06:36:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/292703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/pseuds/Highlander_II
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike's  being harassed by those carolers again, this time it's "Winter Wonderland"</p><p><b>Disclaimer</b>: Characters belong to Joss Whedon and are property of Kuzui/Kuzui Entertainment, Mutant Enemy Productions, WB, UPN, FOX etc. etc.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Spike's Winter Wonderland

**  
_Sleigh bells ring, are you listening. In the lane, snow is glistening..._   
**

Oh bollocks! They're back.

 **  
_A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight..._   
**

Thought I'd gotten rid of you lot last year. Now we have this Winter Wonderland crap?

 **  
_Walking in a winter wonderland._   
**

See.

 **  
_Gone away is the bluebird..._   
**

Because I ate it.

 **  
_Here to stay is a new bird... ___  
**

Is it that Fred chippie? She's cute.

 **  
_He sings a love song..._   
**

Fred's a girl, you nits.

 **  
_As we go along..._   
**

Yeah yeah. Walkin' in a winter wonderland. Don't you know it doesn't snow in LA?

 **  
_In the meadow we can build a snowman..._   
**

Snowman? Meadow? You gits _are_ confused. Haven't seen snow in LA... well... ever. And meadows? This isn't Green Acres. Gotta travel bloody far just to find grass in this town.

 **  
_Then pretend that he is Parson Brown..._   
**

Who the bleeding hell is Parson Brown?

 **  
_He'll say: Are you married?_   
**

Imaginin' the snowman talks? Ya'll are off your bird or something.

 **  
_We'll say: No man. But you can do the job while you're in town..._   
**

You're talking _back_? And people said _I_ was crazy talkin' to things they couldn't see.

 **  
_Later on, we'll conspire..._   
**

This shows promise.

 **  
_As we dream by the fire..._   
**

Knew it was too good to last.

 **  
_To face, unafraid, the plans that we've made..._   
**

Oh bugger...

 **  
_Walking in a winter wonderland._   
**

Is this song over yet? The last one was at least tasty.

 **  
_In the meadow we can build a snowman..._   
**

Haven't we already done this?

 **  
_And pretend that he's a circus clown..._   
**

What next? A little snow car and more snow clowns pouring out? Bloo-oody hell.

 **  
_We'll have lots of fun with Mister Snowman..._   
**

*Shakes head* I am so scared by this song now...

 **  
_Until all the kids knock him down..._   
**

Hoo yah! Now _that_ sounds like fun! I like this part. Can I help?

 **  
_When it snows..._   
**

*snort*

 **  
_Ain't it thrilling..._   
**

Uh, no.

 **  
_Though your nose gets a chilling..._   
**

'Nose gets a chilling'? Is this for real? What the bleeding hell? Oh sod it, I give up.

 **  
_We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way..._   
**

Oh dear...

 **  
_Walking in a winter wonderland_   
**

Please, please, be done.

 **  
_Walking in a winter wonderland_   
**

Bugger all! Stop sodding singing!

 **  
_Walking in a winter wonderland_   
**

You have to be done now... because I'm going to do the world a favor and get rid of the singers! Just like last year... run! Run! Run!

Bollocks. Sodding Christmas.

End

  



End file.
